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Collected Poems




  Collected Poems

  CAROL ANN DUFFY

  PICADOR

  Contents

  Standing Female Nude

  Selling Manhattan

  The Other Country

  Mean Time

  The World’s Wife

  Feminine Gospels

  Rapture

  The Bees

  Ritual Lighting

  Christmas Poems

  Index of titles

  Index of first lines

  For Ella

  Lineage

  Child, stardust, small wonder

  you look up tonight

  to wish on old light.

  I sense my mother’s spirit

  in the room. Time

  has made her a prayer for us.

  A wish and a prayer at Christmas

  and you either or both.

  I hoped for nothing more.

  The ancient law:

  the mass cannot be sung

  without the wax

  because the lineage of bees

  is from Paradise.

  Girl Talking

  On our Eid day my cousin was sent to

  the village. Something happened. We think it was pain.

  She gave wheat to the miller and the miller

  gave her flour. Afterwards it did not hurt,

  so for a while she made chapatis. Tasleen,

  said her friends, Tasleen, do come out with us.

  They were in a coy near the swing. It’s like

  a field. Sometimes we planted melons, spinach,

  marrow, and there was a well. She sat on the swing.

  They pushed her till she shouted Stop the swing,

  then she was sick. Tasleen told them to find

  help. She made blood beneath the mango tree.

  Her mother held her down. She thought something

  was burning her stomach. We paint our hands.

  We visit. We take each other money.

  Outside, the children played Jack-with-Five-Stones.

  Each day she’d carried water from the well

  into the Mosque. Men washed and prayed to God.

  After an hour she died. Her mother cried.

  They called a Holy Man. He walked from Dina

  to Jhang Chak. He saw her dead, then said

  She went out at noon and the ghost took her heart.

  From that day we were warned not to do this.

  Baarh is a small red fruit. We guard our hearts.

  Comprehensive

  Tutumantu is like hopscotch, Kwani-kwani is like hide-and-seek.

  When my sister came back to Africa she could only speak

  English. Sometimes we fought in bed because she didn’t know

  what I was saying. I like Africa better than England.

  My mother says You will like it when we get our own house.

  We talk a lot about the things we used to do

  in Africa and then we are happy.

  Wayne. Fourteen. Games are for kids. I support

  the National Front. Paki-bashing and pulling girls’

  knickers down. Dad’s got his own mini-cab. We watch

  the video. I Spit on Your Grave. Brilliant.

  I don’t suppose I’ll get a job. It’s all them

  coming over here to work. Arsenal.

  Masjid at 6 o’clock. School at 8. There was

  a friendly shop selling rice. They ground it at home

  to make the evening nan. Families face Mecca.

  There was much more room to play than here in London.

  We played in an old village. It is empty now.

  We got a plane to Heathrow. People wrote to us

  that everything was easy here.

  It’s boring. Get engaged. Probably work in Safeways

  worst luck. I haven’t lost it yet because I want

  respect. Marlon Frederic’s nice but he’s a bit dark.

  I like Madness. The lead singer’s dead good.

  My mum is bad with her nerves. She won’t

  let me do nothing. Michelle. It’s just boring.

  Ejaz. They put some sausages on my plate.

  As I was going to put one in my mouth

  a Moslem boy jumped on me and pulled.

  The plate dropped on the floor and broke. He asked me in Urdu

  if I was a Moslem. I said Yes. You shouldn’t be eating this.

  It’s a pig’s meat. So we became friends.

  My sister went out with one. There was murder.

  I’d like to be mates, but they’re different from us.

  Some of them wear turbans in class. You can’t help

  taking the piss. I’m going in the Army.

  No choice really. When I get married

  I might emigrate. A girl who can cook

  with long legs. Australia sounds all right.

  Some of my family are named after the Moghul emperors.

  Aurangzeb, Jehangir, Batur, Humayun. I was born

  thirteen years ago in Jhelum. This is a hard school.

  A man came in with a milk crate. The teacher told us

  to drink our milk. I didn’t understand what she was saying,

  so I didn’t go to get any milk. I have hope and am ambitious.

  At first I felt as if I was dreaming, but I wasn’t.

  Everything I saw was true.

  Alphabet for Auden

  When the words have gone away

  there is nothing left to say.

  Unformed thought can never be,

  what you feel is what you see,

  write it down and set it free

  on printed pages, © Me.

  I love, you love, so does he –

  long live English Poetry.

  Four o’clock is time for tea,

  I’ll be Mother, who’ll be me?

  Murmur, underneath your breath,

  incantations to the deaf.

  Here we go again. Goody.

  Art can’t alter History.

  Praise the language, treasure each

  well-earned phrase your labours reach.

  In hotels you sit and sigh,

  crafting lines where others cry,

  puzzled why it doesn’t pay

  shoving couplets round all day.

  There is vodka on a tray.

  Up your nose the hairs are grey.

  When the words done gone it’s hell

  having nothing left to tell.

  Pummel, punch, fondle, knead them

  back again to life. Read them

  when you doubt yourself and when

  you doubt their function, read again.

  Verse can say I told you so

  but cannot sway the status quo

  one inch. Now you get lonely,

  Baby want love and love only.

  In the mirror you see you.

  Love you always, darling. True.

  When the words have wandered far

  poets patronise the bar,

  understanding less and less.

  Truth is anybody’s guess

  and Time’s a clock, five of three,

  mix another G and T.

  Set ’em up, Joe, make that two.

  Wallace Stevens thought in blue.

  Words drown in a drunken sea,

  dumb, they clutch at memory.

  Pissed you have a double view,

  something else to trouble you.

  Inspiration clears the decks –

  if all else fails, write of sex.

  Every other word’s a lie,

  ain’t no rainbow in the sky.

  Some get lucky, die in bed,

  one word stubbed in the ashtray. Dead.

  Head of English

  Today we have a poet in the class.

  A real live poet with a published book.

  Notice the inkstained fingers girls. Perhaps

  we’re going to witness verse hot from the press.

  Who knows. Please show your appreciation

  by clapping. Not too loud. Now

  sit up straight and listen. Remember

  the lesson on assonance, for not all poems,

  sadly, rhyme these days. Still. Never mind.

  Whispering’s, as always, out of bounds –

  but do feel free to raise some questions.

  After all, we’re paying forty pounds.

  Those of you with English Second Language

  see me after break. We’re fortunate

  to have this person in our midst.

  Season of mists and so on and so forth.

  I’ve written quite a bit of poetry myself,

  am doing Kipling with the Lower Fourth.

  Right. That’s enough from me. On with the Muse.

  Open a window at the back. We don’t

  want winds of change about the place.

  Take notes, but don’t write reams. Just an essay

  on the poet’s themes. Fine. Off we go.

  Convince us that there’s something we don’t know.

  Well. Really. Run along now girls. I’m sure

  that gave an insight to an outside view.

  Applause will do. Thank you

  very much for coming here today. Lunch

  in the hall? Do hang about. Unfortunately

  I have to dash. Tracey will show you out.

  Lizzie, Six

  What are you doing?

  I’m watching the moon.

  I’ll give you the moon

  when I get up there.

  Where are you going?
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  To play in the fields.

  I’ll give you fields,

  bend over that chair.

  What are you thinking?

  I’m thinking of love.

  I’ll give you love

  when I’ve climbed this stair.

  Where are you hiding?

  Deep in the wood.

  I’ll give you wood

  when your bottom’s bare.

  Why are you crying?

  I’m afraid of the dark.

  I’ll give you the dark

  and I do not care.

  Ash Wednesday, 1984

  In St Austin’s and Sacré Coeur the accents of ignorance

  sing out. The Catholic’s spanking wains are marked

  by a bigot’s thumbprint dipped in burnt black palm.

  Dead language rises up and does them harm.

  I remember this. The giving up of gobstoppers

  for Lent, the weekly invention of venial sin

  in a dusty box. Once, in pale blue dresses,

  we kissed petals for the Bishop’s feet.

  Stafford’s guilty sinners slobbered at their beads, beneath

  the purple-shrouded plaster saints. We were Scottish,

  moved down there for work, and every Sunday

  I was leathered up the road to Church.

  Get to Communion and none of your cheek.

  We’ll put the fear of God in your bones.

  Swallow the Eucharist, humble and meek.

  St Stephen was martyred with stones.

  It makes me sick. My soul is not a vest

  spattered with wee black marks. Miracles and shamrocks

  and transubstantiation are all my ass.

  For Christ’s sake, do not send your kids to Mass.

  Education for Leisure

  Today I am going to kill something. Anything.

  I have had enough of being ignored and today

  I am going to play God. It is an ordinary day,

  a sort of grey with boredom stirring in the streets.

  I squash a fly against the window with my thumb.

  We did that at school. Shakespeare. It was in

  another language and now the fly is in another language.

  I breathe out talent on the glass to write my name.

  I am a genius. I could be anything at all, with half

  the chance. But today I am going to change the world.

  Something’s world. The cat avoids me. The cat

  knows I am a genius and has hidden itself.

  I pour the goldfish down the bog. I pull the chain.

  I see that it is good. The budgie is panicking.

  Once a fortnight, I walk the two miles into town

  for signing on. They don’t appreciate my autograph.

  There is nothing left to kill. I dial the radio

  and tell the man he’s talking to a superstar.

  He cuts me off. I get our bread-knife and go out.

  The pavements glitter suddenly. I touch your arm.

  I Remember Me

  There are not enough faces. Your own gapes back

  at you on someone else, but paler, then the moment

  when you see the next one and forget yourself.

  It must be dreams that make us different, must be

  private cells inside a common skull.

  One has the other’s look and has another memory.

  Despair stares out from tube-trains at itself

  running on the platform for the closing door. Everyone

  you meet is telling wordless barefaced truths.

  Sometimes the crowd yields one you put a name to,

  snapping fiction into fact. Mostly your lover passes

  in the rain and does not know you when you speak

  This Shape

  derived from a poem by Jean Genet

  This shape is a rose, protect it, it’s pure.

  Preserve it. Already the evening unfolds you

  before me. Naked, entwined, standing

  in a sheet against a wall. This shape.

  My lips tremble on its delicate brim

  and dare to gather the drops which fall.

  Your milk swells my throat to the neck of a dove.

  O stay. Rose with pearl petals, remain.

  Thorny sea-fruits tear my skin. Your image

  at night’s end. Fingertips of smoke break surface.

  My tongue thrusts, drinks at the rose’s edge.

  My heart uncertain. Golden hair, ghostly nape.

  Destroy this anchor to impossible living, vomiting

  on a sea of bile. Harnessed to your body

  I move through a vast world without goodness

  where you come to me only in sleep.

  I roll on the ocean with you vaguely above,

  working the axles, twisting through your storms.

  Faraway and angry. Wanting the sky

  to thread the horizon with a cloth of my stitching.

  How can I sleep with this flesh that uncurls the sea?

  Beautiful story of love. A village child

  adores the sentry wandering on the beach.

  My amber hand draws in a boy of iron.

  Sleeper, your body. This shape, extraordinary.

  Creamy almond, star, o curled up child.

  A tingling stir of blood in the blue departure

  of evening. A naked foot sounding on the grass.

  Saying Something

  Things assume your shape; discarded clothes, a damp shroud

  in the bathroom, vacant hands. This is not fiction. This is

  the plain and warm material of love. My heart assumes it.

  We wake. Our private language starts the day. We make

  familiar movements through the house. The dreams we have

  no phrases for slip through our fingers into smoke.

  I dreamed I was not with you. Wandering in a city

  where you did not live, I stared at strangers, searching

  for a word to make them you. I woke beside you.

  Sweetheart, I say. Pedestrian daylight terms scratch

  darker surfaces. Your absence leaves me with the ghost

  of love; half-warm coffee cups or sheets, the gentlest kiss.

  Walking home, I see you turning on the lights. I come in

  from outside calling your name, saying something.

  Jealous as Hell

  Blind black shark swim in me,

  move to possess. Slow stupid shape

  grin in sea, suck inky on suspicions.

  Swim grin suck, it clot my heart.

  Big fish brooding in the water.

  Bright bird buoyant in the sky.

  Tail-shudder thrust wounded, it

  ugly from imaginary pains. Bones

  of contention rot in gut. Mouth open

  shut open shut open. Hateshark coming.

  Big fish smoulder for the slaughter.

  Clever wings fly small bird high.

  Evilbreath lurk at base of spine,

  seethe sightless from heart to mind.

  Devilteeth, sack of greed, reasonless.

  It will kill. Swim grin suck.

  Bird skim surface of the ocean.

  Fish churn clumsy in the sea.

  It wait in the gurgling dark.

  Bad shark. Blue belly blubber

  wanting bird. Sick with lust

  it flick its great tail, it flick.

  Freedom bird glide in its own motion.

  Shark need nothing to be free.

  It watch you every move.

  Terza Rima SW19

  Over this Common a kestrel treads air

  till the earth says mouse or vole. Far below

  two lovers walking by the pond seem unaware.

  She feeds the ducks. He wants her, tells her so

  as she half-smiles and stands slightly apart.

  He loves me, loves me not with each deft throw.

  It could last a year, she thinks, possibly two

  and then crumble like stale bread. The kestrel flies

  across the sun as he swears his love is true

  and, darling, forever. Suddenly the earth cries

  Now and death drops from above like a stone.

  A couple turn and see a strange bird rise.

  Into the sky a kestrel climbs alone

  and later she might write or he may phone.

  Naming Parts

  A body has been discussed between them.

  The woman wears a bruise

  upon her arm. Do not wear your heart

  upon your sleeve, he cautions, knowing

  which part of whom has caused the injury.

  Underneath the lamplight you teach me new games

  with a wicked pack of cards. I am